I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
