You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
