Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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