My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize