So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
