So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
