a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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