Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize