the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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