i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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