I hate your face
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
