My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
