Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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