Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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