U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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