I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
