we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize