the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
