my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
