I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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