I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
