Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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