He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
