do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
