if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
