do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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