I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
