just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
