Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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