If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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