I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
