By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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