where does the pee come out of this thing
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
