I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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