end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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