I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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