At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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