Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
