Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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