So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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