Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
