For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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