Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
