I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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