Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
