Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
