I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
