how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
