Taylor Swift is so right about you.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
this hospital has no fireball
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He shit in the fireplace
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
