I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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