we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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