i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
