I bet he comes in French.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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