can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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