help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
