apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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