On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
