i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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