is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
